Some Sick Little Bugs

I deserve a "Most Drama Imaginable" award. We've had quite an eventful 10 days. Two weeks ago all the kids were finally well, and then Brynn started to have a little cough. She coughed for a couple days and then from Friday night to Saturday morning she went from occasionally coughing to struggling to breath. She was admitted to the hospital were she stayed for 6 days on oxygen, IV antibiotics and steroids to strengthen her lungs. She came home Thursday. That was the day I noticed Claire had a slight cough. Yesterday (Sunday) she woke up in the morning struggling to breath. I took her to the ER. Sure enough her oxygen saturation level was in the 70's. "Here we go again." I thought. Derek came in the late afternoon and said he was going to stay the night with her, and told me to go home, take care of the other 3 kids and come back in the morning. I was exhausted, but I had a strange uneasy feeling. I couldn't sleep, just drifted in and out. I couldn't figure out where the feeling was coming from. Claire was fine. Her situation mimicked Brynn's exactly. Claire is the one who has always had the strongest lungs. She was the only one who never had to be on a ventilator when she was a preemie. I kept telling myself everything was OK. I thought I was just dreading another week like the one I'd just had. Finally at 3:20 I went downstairs and wrote Derek an email. I didn't want to call and disturb him. I wrote "How is my Claire? I feel so much stress in my mind and in my heart. I'm worried about so many things right now. I wish I had you here, I want a big hug from you." I didn't expect to hear back from him because I assumed he was sleeping. He wasn't sleeping. As I was writing that, the life flight helicopter landed at the hospital at 3:30 and took Claire to Primarys. Whenever I see the Life Flight heading to where ever, I always say a prayer for whoever is in there and whoever is worried about and loves the person in there. I hope there were lots of people praying for my baby. At 4am when I heard the garage door open I was so confused. I went running downstairs and yelled "WHERE'S CLAIRE!?" Derek explained to me that she had taken a turn for the worse. She had been on 4 L of Oxygen (During Brynn's 6 day stay, she never required more that a little over 1 L) and they couldn't keep her oxygen saturation level up and she was working so hard to breath. Her heart rate and respiration rate was incredibly high. The doctor told Derek that this was over his head and called Life Flight. Five minutes after Derek got home, his mom showed up and Derek and I drove to the hospital. So, here we sit. Claire is in the ICU. Not much has changed. She's not in good shape, but hasn't gotten any worse. I think that the Pediatric ICU is the saddest place in the world. Little kids shouldn't have to go through these things.

I'm really trying to be as strong as I can right now. I usually can hold it together pretty well in the midst of a crisis. It's after that I fall to pieces. I don't have any good reason to think that Claire will not be OK.

I called my mother in law awhile ago to check on my other kids. Lia has started coughing this morning. I'm most concerned about her. She has always had the weakest lungs by far.

Thank you for all of your kind words and prayers. I really feel it. I'll keep this updated.